This is the story of two straight men

So in my continual quest to prove once and for all that Jared and Jensen are in love and that as soon as Supernatural is over and they don't have to play BROTHERS anymore they are going to get gay married in California and adopt 3 asian babies, have some pictorial evidence of their epic love.


Allow me to play devil’s advocate, here.

1. Jared and Jensen. They’re famous, which means they pose for a lot of pictures together. Plus, they’re buddies, and what’s more buddyerly than throwing an arm over your pal’s shoulder…


2. …in every single shot? …It’s just comfortable, I guess, ‘cause Jensen fits perfectly under Jared’s arm. And hey, actors are more touchy feely than other people, right?


3. Right. Nothin’ wrong with a little hug between buddies either. I mean, these guys spend a lot of time together and they’re really close. Like brothers!


4. …Um. Yeah, brothers! Pfft. Brothers hug cheek to cheek with really soft smiles all the time. But, um, Jared? What’s with the leg?


5. Awwww. So happy. And totally normal.


6. Now aren’t these two handsome? And standing…really close together, with their arms…around each other’s waists…


7. Don’t worry Jared, Jensen obviously doesn’t mind.


8. Okay, and standing pressed together from shoulder to knee (with arms around each other’s waists) is de rigueur for these two.


9. …hmm. You know, strictly mathematically speaking, it would take a 135 degree movement for them to be side by side, and only 45 degrees for them to be plastered together, front to front, from shoulder to knee. I’m just sayin’.


10. And Jared cocks his knee to put more of himself in contact with Jensen. Save room for the Holy ghost, boys!


11. Okay, at this point, I just don’t think they could be touching more unless Jared’s tongue was in Jensen’s mouth. And notice, through all this that Jared is still holding Jensen against him, and presumably Jensen’s other arm is doing the same.


12. Whew! New scene. That last one was getting a bit…hmm. Okay, perfectly normal here, just…holding each other in public again. And can I say, hot boys are HOT, here?


13. And there they go again. Just gotta work that other arm in there, doncha Jen?


14. You really are a cute couple…of PERFECTLY PLATONIC FRIENDS.


15. Yep, everything is perfectly hetero-normal here.


16. Just makin’ sure your lover’s friend’s heart is still beating, eh Jen? Such a pal.


17. I…am sure there is a completely rational, not-gay explanation for this. Like that they always have to be touching all the time.


18. You just can’t keep your eyes off each other, can you?


19. Yeah, holding hands and straightening each other’s clothes (while gazing deeply into each other’s eyes) is something straight boys to all the time! Especially while ignoring the three hot chicks that are less than 10 feet away from you. Bros before hos, am I right?


20. Jared is totally not holding up his shirt and showing off his ass/and or package and Jensen is totally not staring at it. I don’t even know what you’re talking about.


21. Hey! Everyone has long days, when you just want to cuddle up on your BFFs shoulder and catch some Z’s. Nothin’ to see here. Cuddling is very manly!


22. Isn’t it, Jared? Wait, what is his other hand doing?


23. FOOTSIE! They are playing footsie. (FYI, during this interview, they sat with their feet together like this for a while, during which time Jared leaned in for a kiss and was rebuked “until later”, until Jensen suddenly realized they were playing freaking footise in public and put his leg down. This lasted only a few minutes, though, until Jared switched legs and they sat with their knees pressed together instead.)


24. There’s those knees pressed together again. But hey, Jared’s has really long legs, and he’s gotta put ‘em somewhere, right?


25. And did I mention the twinning? They are so cute!


26. Um…straight guys always… You know what? I can’t even do it anymore. They are cuddling, people! They are just hanging out in public, and Jay is resting his chin on his hand on Jen’s shoulder. Straight guys don’t do that! Straight guys are not constantly touching each other, especially not in front of thousands of people. I mean, am I insane here? Somebody tell me.


27. Okay, I know straight guys occasionally slap each other on the ass, so I’ll give them a pass here. But, come on.


28. What is even going on here? I think Jensen is attempting to re-enact the spaghetti scene from Lady and the Tramp with Jared and a Twizzler. And I think we all know how that scene ends, don’t we. Yeah. (And I’m not even gonna mention the full body press. If Jensen had boobs they’d be grinding into Jared’s arm right now, and any girl can tell you what the boobpress means.)


29. Okay, but most of all they smile at each other like this. Secret Smile!


30. And there’s that secret smile again. The surest sign that two people ARE IN LOVE, for frak’s sake!



DON'T TRY TO DENY THEIR EPIC ROMANCE, BITCHES!!!